Oh the silence hurting my ears
Are you here, are you here
My voice echo’s return is clear
Are you here, are you here
On my throne crowned with fears
Are you here, are you here
My vacant soul filled with tears
Are you here, are you here
Looking back to anywhere
You were there, you were there
Seeing just how much you cared
You were there, you were there
Held captive in your loving stare
You were there, you were there
Trembling, falling, faithful, scared
You were there, you were there
So why is it now I do not know
Where did you go, where did you go
Hanging by a thread to sew
Where did you go, where did you go
Pacing darkness to and fro
Where did you go, where did you go
The fall is fast and seems so slow
Where did you go, where did you go
Come to me before I mar
There you are, there you are
A breath away just seems so far
There you are, there you are
My dark night’s last eschar
There you are, there you are
The dawns redeeming shining star
There you are, there you are!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Trini-what?
As a Christian leader in ministry, I see a lot of different perspectives from one person or people group to another as it pertains to the Christian faith. What's more, I see those differences in the Christian faith itself too. However, a general consensuses most Christians do agree on is that God exists in three persons called the Trinity. They are God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Recently I came across a mother and daughter who were self-professed Christians but had never heard of the Trinity. They even stated that they're denomination didn't believe in the Trinity because it simply didn't make sense. I used to be a part of that denomination and I assure you, they do believe in the Trinity. Without the Trinity, the Christian faith begins to unravel...but that's a different post for another time. So, back to the point here, they're confusion over the issue was that the Trinity wasn't possible. How could God be father and son and still something else. To answer this, I turn to something I learned from my sisters church.
Most explanations of the Trinity come in the form of physical items that take on 3 distinct qualities. For example, water. It can be in a liquid form, the gas form we know as steam, or the solid form we know as ice. However, I've never felt that does justice to the reality of God's positions in the Trinity. It doesn't help us grasp how people relate because H2O isn't alive. I prefer the model of ourselves. Take me, for example. I was born to great parents 33 years ago. I am a son. However, 7 years ago I also became a father when my wife and I had our first child. So, now I am a father AND a son. But it doesn't end there. I was the third of 3 children. I am also a brother. How is it that I can be one person but exist as three different people? Well, because I simply am all those things. No matter how you slice it, I'm a father, a son, and a brother and the list goes on. If I can be these things as one person, how much more can the God of the universe exist in three persons as one God? Suddenly, this all is beginning to make more sense...don't ya think?
Most explanations of the Trinity come in the form of physical items that take on 3 distinct qualities. For example, water. It can be in a liquid form, the gas form we know as steam, or the solid form we know as ice. However, I've never felt that does justice to the reality of God's positions in the Trinity. It doesn't help us grasp how people relate because H2O isn't alive. I prefer the model of ourselves. Take me, for example. I was born to great parents 33 years ago. I am a son. However, 7 years ago I also became a father when my wife and I had our first child. So, now I am a father AND a son. But it doesn't end there. I was the third of 3 children. I am also a brother. How is it that I can be one person but exist as three different people? Well, because I simply am all those things. No matter how you slice it, I'm a father, a son, and a brother and the list goes on. If I can be these things as one person, how much more can the God of the universe exist in three persons as one God? Suddenly, this all is beginning to make more sense...don't ya think?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
In The Mirror
Here lately I've been thinking about my dad a lot. Well, when you lose a parent, I guess you always think about them a lot. But there are some major changes happening in my life and I think that my father is on my mind more because I wish he was here to celebrate in these life changes with me. For example, I'm taking a new job that is a step forward for me. I know without a doubt God is leading me here and I'm excited about the new adventure and chapter in the lives of me and my family. But, I'm somewhat melancholy because my father isn't here to see it and be a part of it. I miss that. I miss that he's not riding me about the things I need to be doing in order to make our families move a smooth transition. I also miss his advice and wisdom.
But all that isn't what this post is about. This post is about the mirror image of my father I see in me. I'm thinking a lot about my father because I'm seeing so much of him in myself. Like when I look down on my knuckles I see freckles appearing that have never been there. For some reason, I always remember my dad having those same freckles on his knuckles. When I wrestle with my kids and find myself saying the same jokes and doing the same things my father did with me when I was a kid. Today, in the office at work, I laughed at something that was funny and I heard the exact same chuckle my father made that I used to secretly think was funny. And worst of all (but really best of all) I did my fathers "clap" the other day. Yep, I know what you're thinking...what's a "clap"? Well, my dad, when he applauded, did so in a very distinct manner. He would hold his hands up at about chest height and clap. However, he somehow coordinated he's head and jaw to flow in beat with his clapping. He would bob his head up and down with each clap as well as chuckle with his jaw moving in a very perfect up and down pattern - also in beat with the clapping. My family made fun of him for years because of this. Well sure enough, I caught myself doing the "Markgraf Clap" in public not long ago. I immediately stopped myself! I couldn't believe what I had done. I even looked around to see if the rest of my world around me had noticed...lol. Secretly (and not so secret now) I'm glad I did it and for the first time, did it as my own rather than as a joke. It was something that reminded me of dad.
All of those things have made me think of my dad a lot here lately. I'm glad. Unlike a photo or another memory that can be lost in a move or forgotten over time, these are parts of my dad that are ingrained into me. They're are the parts of him that have physically become parts of me. These are the constant reminders of a man I dearly love and are things that no one, and nothing can take away from me.
It all makes me wonder one thing though...what am I carrying around that my Father in heaven has placed in me that is truly me? Shouldn't the world be seeing those things too?
But all that isn't what this post is about. This post is about the mirror image of my father I see in me. I'm thinking a lot about my father because I'm seeing so much of him in myself. Like when I look down on my knuckles I see freckles appearing that have never been there. For some reason, I always remember my dad having those same freckles on his knuckles. When I wrestle with my kids and find myself saying the same jokes and doing the same things my father did with me when I was a kid. Today, in the office at work, I laughed at something that was funny and I heard the exact same chuckle my father made that I used to secretly think was funny. And worst of all (but really best of all) I did my fathers "clap" the other day. Yep, I know what you're thinking...what's a "clap"? Well, my dad, when he applauded, did so in a very distinct manner. He would hold his hands up at about chest height and clap. However, he somehow coordinated he's head and jaw to flow in beat with his clapping. He would bob his head up and down with each clap as well as chuckle with his jaw moving in a very perfect up and down pattern - also in beat with the clapping. My family made fun of him for years because of this. Well sure enough, I caught myself doing the "Markgraf Clap" in public not long ago. I immediately stopped myself! I couldn't believe what I had done. I even looked around to see if the rest of my world around me had noticed...lol. Secretly (and not so secret now) I'm glad I did it and for the first time, did it as my own rather than as a joke. It was something that reminded me of dad.
All of those things have made me think of my dad a lot here lately. I'm glad. Unlike a photo or another memory that can be lost in a move or forgotten over time, these are parts of my dad that are ingrained into me. They're are the parts of him that have physically become parts of me. These are the constant reminders of a man I dearly love and are things that no one, and nothing can take away from me.
It all makes me wonder one thing though...what am I carrying around that my Father in heaven has placed in me that is truly me? Shouldn't the world be seeing those things too?
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
God Owes Me!!
God owes me…right? Doesn’t God owe me for becoming a Christian? I mean, I did SAY I believe in Him. Heck, I even said it in front of others a time or two. God owes me!
God owes me because I did what he said I should. I got baptized in front of a lot of people just so they’d know I was serious. So, God owes me!
God owes me because I’ve done everything right. I pray sometimes…I read my Bible some. I even give God a whole hour or two one day a week. That’s not my time. I sacrifice that time…right? God owes me!
God owes me because he loves me. And if he loves me, he owes me a better life…right? God owes me!
I mean really, what’s God done? He sent his son to die in my place. He sent his son to die so that I could spend eternity beyond the pettiness of this world in an unimaginable paradise with him. He sent his son to die just so he and I could be friends. He traded his own child’s life so he and I could have a relationship. Wait, he literally offered up his son; HIS WISE, SMART, GREAT, PERFECT, SINLESS, LOVING CHILD, so that a foolish, ignorant, ungrateful, filthy, sinful, unlovable person like me could be claimed as his child instead. That doesn’t even make since. That kind of love for me is unparalleled in this world.
No, God doesn’t owe me. If anything…I OWE GOD my life! Wait...didn't I say I gave it to him? :-o
God owes me because I did what he said I should. I got baptized in front of a lot of people just so they’d know I was serious. So, God owes me!
God owes me because I’ve done everything right. I pray sometimes…I read my Bible some. I even give God a whole hour or two one day a week. That’s not my time. I sacrifice that time…right? God owes me!
God owes me because he loves me. And if he loves me, he owes me a better life…right? God owes me!
I mean really, what’s God done? He sent his son to die in my place. He sent his son to die so that I could spend eternity beyond the pettiness of this world in an unimaginable paradise with him. He sent his son to die just so he and I could be friends. He traded his own child’s life so he and I could have a relationship. Wait, he literally offered up his son; HIS WISE, SMART, GREAT, PERFECT, SINLESS, LOVING CHILD, so that a foolish, ignorant, ungrateful, filthy, sinful, unlovable person like me could be claimed as his child instead. That doesn’t even make since. That kind of love for me is unparalleled in this world.
No, God doesn’t owe me. If anything…I OWE GOD my life! Wait...didn't I say I gave it to him? :-o
Friday, May 27, 2011
TORNADO ALERT!!
What a season for tornadoes it's been. Unfortunately, they are literally all over the central and south eastern parts of the US as of late. Over 500 people have been killed within about a month due to these destructive storms. Just the other night, the city in which I live in was forecast a 9 out of 10 chance by the weather forecasters of having severe storms and tornadoes. They were right, as we had both. We were lucky though. The whirlwind storms did some damage but nothing to get all up in a tizzy about. I heard someone lost a roof and there are trees down in places (including my neighborhood) but all in all, we were lucky. Other towns and cities have been absolutely DEVASTATED this year.
This week had started out normal. I had just put up a new playground after work, for my boys, and then a phone call came. In casual conversation someone mentioned the storms headed our way. I had no clue this was coming so I got on the computer and started checking my local forecast and sure enough, we were predicted to get nailed! At first, I totally freaked out. We were supposed to go on vacation just a couple days from then and I called my wife and said, "We're going to leave today for vacation! Get home, we're leaving now!"
Ok, so maybe that wasn't the most sensible reaction. But my instincts were to save my family at all costs from the impending doom headed our way. As it turns out, my wife and kids and I went over to my moms house and we rode the storms out in a closet together. You'd have thought we were going camping or something. My kids had game systems and toys to play with in the closet. We had blankets and pillows to cover up with and to sit on too. And even though it was a little unnerving and incredibly cramped (3 adults and 2 kids in a closet is tight) the conversation we wonderful. It was an unplanned vacation in which the family simply set around and communed together. We played games in the closet with the kids to distract them from the whirlwind storms outside. We talked, we laughed and it was generally a wonderful time with those I dearly love. It made me think about how important these people are to me in my life and how I'd be lost without each of them. I also had a reality check that reminded me that we aren't promised more time than the present with the people we love. That made me ask myself, why do we ever let the whirlwinds of life take us from those we love?
This week had started out normal. I had just put up a new playground after work, for my boys, and then a phone call came. In casual conversation someone mentioned the storms headed our way. I had no clue this was coming so I got on the computer and started checking my local forecast and sure enough, we were predicted to get nailed! At first, I totally freaked out. We were supposed to go on vacation just a couple days from then and I called my wife and said, "We're going to leave today for vacation! Get home, we're leaving now!"
Ok, so maybe that wasn't the most sensible reaction. But my instincts were to save my family at all costs from the impending doom headed our way. As it turns out, my wife and kids and I went over to my moms house and we rode the storms out in a closet together. You'd have thought we were going camping or something. My kids had game systems and toys to play with in the closet. We had blankets and pillows to cover up with and to sit on too. And even though it was a little unnerving and incredibly cramped (3 adults and 2 kids in a closet is tight) the conversation we wonderful. It was an unplanned vacation in which the family simply set around and communed together. We played games in the closet with the kids to distract them from the whirlwind storms outside. We talked, we laughed and it was generally a wonderful time with those I dearly love. It made me think about how important these people are to me in my life and how I'd be lost without each of them. I also had a reality check that reminded me that we aren't promised more time than the present with the people we love. That made me ask myself, why do we ever let the whirlwinds of life take us from those we love?
Monday, May 9, 2011
What Mother's Teach Us
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I just didn't feel right honoring our mothers with a blog. So, I took a look at three exceptional mothers from centuries present and past. They are world famous mothers. Not for being moms though, rather, for being exceptional in their Christian walk. So let's get to it.
1) Mother Teresa - Mother Teresa teaches us what it means to follow Romans 12:1 which says, "So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship." I can't remember ever seeing a picture of Mother Teresa in catholic Mass. It's not that she didn't attend, most assuredly she did. But her true worship was in sacrificing her own needs and desires for the sake of others and ultimately, for the sake of Christ. That's a lesson we all can learn from.
2) Mother Mary - As a protestant, we don't give Mary her full due a lot of times. However, if there's one lesson Mary can teach us, it's how to endure struggles and pain. She was pregnant as a young teen and was unwed when it happened. Her future husband, Joseph, had one foot out the door until an angel came to him in a dream and assured him her pregnancy really was from the Lord. I'm sure she was mocked and laughed at plenty. Not to mention, she watched her little baby boy grow up completely innocent of all crimes and sin. Yet, she watched him suffer beatings, false accusations and watched him die a criminals inhumane death, naked, on a cross. Yet, she endured through it all. She is the perfect example of what Paul means when he writes in Romans 5:3-4, "But that's not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope." Our hope in Christ is our confidence in Him. That he is who he says he is and that he did what he claimed to. So praise God for the refining process of struggle that ultimately reminds us of our hope in Christ.
3) Susan Wesley - Susan Wesley was the mother of John Wesley who was the founder of Methodism. She is a shining example of what it means to be Spiritually Disciplined. Every day she taught her children their scholastic studies, Biblical studies, and prayer time. She also spent time every day for herself with God. Oh, did I mention she had 19 children! Now, less than half survived ( I believe somewhere between 6-9)which she still managed time for every week and every day. She prayed, read her Bible and helped in her community. Three disciplines I know I need to do better in my own life. How about You?
WOW, what extraordinary women these women were! I'm so impressed by each and only hope my life is as dedicated to the love of God through loving the people of this world as theirs were.
1) Mother Teresa - Mother Teresa teaches us what it means to follow Romans 12:1 which says, "So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship." I can't remember ever seeing a picture of Mother Teresa in catholic Mass. It's not that she didn't attend, most assuredly she did. But her true worship was in sacrificing her own needs and desires for the sake of others and ultimately, for the sake of Christ. That's a lesson we all can learn from.
2) Mother Mary - As a protestant, we don't give Mary her full due a lot of times. However, if there's one lesson Mary can teach us, it's how to endure struggles and pain. She was pregnant as a young teen and was unwed when it happened. Her future husband, Joseph, had one foot out the door until an angel came to him in a dream and assured him her pregnancy really was from the Lord. I'm sure she was mocked and laughed at plenty. Not to mention, she watched her little baby boy grow up completely innocent of all crimes and sin. Yet, she watched him suffer beatings, false accusations and watched him die a criminals inhumane death, naked, on a cross. Yet, she endured through it all. She is the perfect example of what Paul means when he writes in Romans 5:3-4, "But that's not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope." Our hope in Christ is our confidence in Him. That he is who he says he is and that he did what he claimed to. So praise God for the refining process of struggle that ultimately reminds us of our hope in Christ.
3) Susan Wesley - Susan Wesley was the mother of John Wesley who was the founder of Methodism. She is a shining example of what it means to be Spiritually Disciplined. Every day she taught her children their scholastic studies, Biblical studies, and prayer time. She also spent time every day for herself with God. Oh, did I mention she had 19 children! Now, less than half survived ( I believe somewhere between 6-9)which she still managed time for every week and every day. She prayed, read her Bible and helped in her community. Three disciplines I know I need to do better in my own life. How about You?
WOW, what extraordinary women these women were! I'm so impressed by each and only hope my life is as dedicated to the love of God through loving the people of this world as theirs were.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Run Away
I was thinking about Jonah the other day. We were reading from his book in the Bible and the story struck me from a different point of view. This time, rather than a third party, I became Jonah (a position I unfortunately have played many times in my life.) Well anyway, I could only imagine how a modern day conversation between Jonah and God might have gone. Adding some of my own frustrations along the way, these lyrics below are the result of the thought process. It is now actually a song, but I'm only posting the lyrics for now.
Run Away
You walked in smiling ear to ear
you say that you got good news
so I'm ready to hear
Then you share your news with me
instead of delighted, I despise it
I'm green with jealousy
Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.
The feelings cold as I head for the door
I can't understand why I'm left out to dry
while the cold rain pours.
Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.
I said it makes me wanna run
but that's hard to do
when everything I need happens to be
all wrapped up in you
Why do I run away
why do I run away
no matter what I say
I need to be right here today.
Blessings,
Derek
Run Away
You walked in smiling ear to ear
you say that you got good news
so I'm ready to hear
Then you share your news with me
instead of delighted, I despise it
I'm green with jealousy
Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.
The feelings cold as I head for the door
I can't understand why I'm left out to dry
while the cold rain pours.
Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.
I said it makes me wanna run
but that's hard to do
when everything I need happens to be
all wrapped up in you
Why do I run away
why do I run away
no matter what I say
I need to be right here today.
Blessings,
Derek
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