A Life Lesson from My Eight Year Old

                Baseball is a crazy sport where I live. Well, it's not that the sport itself is any more ridiculous, it's just that it's taken so seriously that it gets a little crazy. My son, who is 8, made the all star team this year. I was super excited for him. Only 12 players out of his entire league made the cut. I was especially proud of him because baseball was never my sport. I don't particularly enjoy watching it and when I played as a child, I was terrible. But he really enjoys it and is a decent player. He, by no means, is the best player on the team. He may actually be toward the bottom. He generally catches the ball very well, he's not afraid of it, he's one of the top two or three fastest kids, and he's pretty good at bat. He needs a lot of work throwing though. But, like I said, he's not the worst, but certainly not the best either.

                In the state tournament he just played in he taught me a lesson I'll never forget. He had been playing first base, but in this particular game he wasn't playing at all. He wasn't in the batting line up, nor was he playing the field. The coach had him collecting the bats...and that was pretty much it. I was confused, frustrated, and if I'm honest...hurt. My son should be playing...somewhere. I was getting furious. Why was my son the only player on the entire team through 3 innings not to step on the field. So, in my heated frustration (which if you know me, you know that generally things don't bother me at all) I marched myself right over to the dugout and yelled at the coaches, "Does Dawson need to pack up his bag right now? Do we need to go home or is he actually going to play?" I continued, "I'm not trying to be a jerk, but this is ridiculous!" The coach chipped in, "Well, you're being a pretty good one right now! But he's going in, every kid has to play." I stomped away still fuming. My poor, pitiful child who wasn't getting to play for his team was about to go in because the team "every kid HAS to play." That was even more of an insult to me. I packed up my bag chair and left the infield viewing area and went out to where my wife and mother-in-law had already moved to.

                Once I sat back down, it hit me. I had become the very thing I can't stand. I let my emotions get the best of me and in turn, showed everyone there the worst of me...including my son who stared at me in the dugout throughout my entire Mr. Hyde episode.  knew immediately that I needed to apologize. After the game, I quickly found all three coaches and apologized for my actions. I apologized to their wives as well. After all, they don't answer to me. I'm not the coach, they are. The coach calmly talked to me and explained why my son wasn't playing that particular game and it honestly all made since...and had nothing to do with him as a player. Everyone was very forgiving and explained to me that they had all pretty much been there before.

                However, the real lesson in this didn't come until my son came out of the dugout. He ran up to me with the biggest grin on his face. He excitedly yelled, "Dad! Guess what!? I got to be the bat boy! It was awesome! I also got to be a runner for one of the other kids! It was great!" So you see, there it is. My son had a blast! Isn't that why we let him play to begin with? Isn't that the whole reason he was there? Wasn't that the whole reason sports were invented...for people to recreate and have fun? Here I was trying my best to protect my poor child from the evil coach monster that was destroy his fun and he was having the time of his life doing exactly what he was asked to do. Oh, by the way, I always tell him to "just be ready to do whatever the coach asks you to do." Maybe it would behoove me to start asking my kids how things are rather than assuming I already know. As parents, maybe we do a little too much assuming and not enough talking. If I would have waited until after the game and have seen my sons response first, I could have spare everyone having to watch me act like a fool.

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Procrasti...Eh, I'll Finish This Title Later

Crazy, huh? I'm writing about procrastination this week. Well, I haven't written a blog in about a year...which says I've been procrastinating on that for some time. I wanted to, but I kept putting it off until tomorrow...which, of course, never came. I had all kinds of blogs I was going to write and twice as many excuses on why not to write them. Good excuses too; like the one where I was tired and decided I should take a nap. Oh, and the one where I told myself I deserved a break from writing because I was in school and had to write enough as it was. And then there was the excuse that I didn't have time because I was too busy...and then went and watched some TV. Then there's the one where I decided I didn't know how to blog. I also decided once that no one cared, so I didn't write. See what I mean, Really Good Excuses (note the sarcasm). I guess that's what brought me here today. I thought, I should write about procrastinating to stop procrastinating, to myself.

So, now on to writing about procrastination. Procrastination is a demon! I've been reading the book "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield and it's given me great insights to the role of resistance in our lives. It talks about how resistance goal is to destroy us and is not satisfied until it does. Wow, how true is that! Procrastination may be Satan's finest tool. The ability to show us what we should do, have the insight to know we can accomplish it, and then rob us the satisfaction of completion is an affective tool for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Not only that, but how affective this tool is in preventing me from doing what God wants me to do. It seems silly to think I'd lean on a crutch of Satan's rather than flourish in the power of the Almighty!

 As I look at my excuses for not blogging, I think I can honestly say I've used them all before. Like when I decided I was tired to go to church, so I slept in that day. Or the time I felt lead to attend Bible study but decided I was too busy and watched football instead.  Or that time when I was asked to preach and didn't because I was afraid I didn't know how. Or the time I was going to serve at church and thought nobody really cared if I did. These are my excuses. Some of them might be yours too. I say it's time to give the devil his crutch back and start living life more abundantly!

Procrastination confuses our priorities and uproots God's plans in our lives.It's the death of our motivation and of truly living. If you're wondering why you feel God hasn't given you any direction, it might be because your not actually following the directions he's given you. At least, that's how it's happened in my life. From now on, I'm choosing the life God already chose for me. John 10:10 says, "A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life—life in all its fullness." Won't you join me? Let Satan keep his silly little tools. They ain't got nothing on the power of Christ, who already defeated death and has raised us all to a new life! Let's Go Live!

One Day in Paradise

Sweetness revoked by the angels tongue
splendor fades into the flight
all glory and honor
silenced, muted,
fallen.

The once joyful noise makes our ears bleed and sours our souls
drawn in by it's beauty
and harmonious grandeur
taken in, deceived,
dropped.

The brilliance of the colors that cause our hearts to sway,
sway away with the stars of the darkened sky
for they are the
only light left
lost, lonely...
alone.

This rustling of angels wings should cause the heart to jump,
the cave of protection fears and flees
when reality is clear
tense, trembling
terror

And that sound, those sights, that smell of delight
that draws the naive in like infatuation to love
What was broken breaks more
pieces, penalties
pursuit of truth
denied!

Healing Soul

Oh the silence hurting my ears
Are you here, are you here
My voice echo’s return is clear
Are you here, are you here

On my throne crowned with fears
Are you here, are you here
My vacant soul filled with tears
Are you here, are you here

Looking back to anywhere
You were there, you were there
Seeing just how much you cared
You were there, you were there

Held captive in your loving stare
You were there, you were there
Trembling, falling, faithful, scared
You were there, you were there

So why is it now I do not know
Where did you go, where did you go
Hanging by a thread to sew
Where did you go, where did you go

Pacing darkness to and fro
Where did you go, where did you go
The fall is fast and seems so slow
Where did you go, where did you go

Come to me before I mar
There you are, there you are
A breath away just seems so far
There you are, there you are

My dark night’s last eschar
There you are, there you are
The dawns redeeming shining star
There you are, there you are!

The Trini-what?

As a Christian leader in ministry, I see a lot of different perspectives from one person or people group to another as it pertains to the Christian faith. What's more, I see those differences in the Christian faith itself too. However, a general consensuses most Christians do agree on is that God exists in three persons called the Trinity. They are God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Recently I came across a mother and daughter who were self-professed Christians but had never heard of the Trinity. They even stated that they're denomination didn't believe in the Trinity because it simply didn't make sense. I used to be a part of that denomination and I assure you, they do believe in the Trinity. Without the Trinity, the Christian faith begins to unravel...but that's a different post for another time. So, back to the point here, they're confusion over the issue was that the Trinity wasn't possible. How could God be father and son and still something else. To answer this, I turn to something I learned from my sisters church.

Most explanations of the Trinity come in the form of physical items that take on 3 distinct qualities. For example, water. It can be in a liquid form, the gas form we know as steam, or the solid form we know as ice. However, I've never felt that does justice to the reality of God's positions in the Trinity. It doesn't help us grasp how people relate because H2O isn't alive. I prefer the model of ourselves. Take me, for example. I was born to great parents 33 years ago. I am a son. However, 7 years ago I also became a father when my wife and I had our first child. So, now I am a father AND a son. But it doesn't end there. I was the third of 3 children. I am also a brother. How is it that I can be one person but exist as three different people? Well, because I simply am all those things. No matter how you slice it, I'm a father, a son, and a brother and the list goes on. If I can be these things as one person, how much more can the God of the universe exist in three persons as one God? Suddenly, this all is beginning to make more sense...don't ya think?

In The Mirror

Here lately I've been thinking about my dad a lot. Well, when you lose a parent, I guess you always think about them a lot. But there are some major changes happening in my life and I think that my father is on my mind more because I wish he was here to celebrate in these life changes with me. For example, I'm taking a new job that is a step forward for me. I know without a doubt God is leading me here and I'm excited about the new adventure and chapter in the lives of me and my family. But, I'm somewhat melancholy because my father isn't here to see it and be a part of it. I miss that. I miss that he's not riding me about the things I need to be doing in order to make our families move a smooth transition. I also miss his advice and wisdom.

But all that isn't what this post is about. This post is about the mirror image of my father I see in me. I'm thinking a lot about my father because I'm seeing so much of him in myself. Like when I look down on my knuckles I see freckles appearing that have never been there. For some reason, I always remember my dad having those same freckles on his knuckles. When I wrestle with my kids and find myself saying the same jokes and doing the same things my father did with me when I was a kid. Today, in the office at work, I laughed at something that was funny and I heard the exact same chuckle my father made that I used to secretly think was funny. And worst of all (but really best of all) I did my fathers "clap" the other day. Yep, I know what you're thinking...what's a "clap"? Well, my dad, when he applauded, did so in a very distinct manner. He would hold his hands up at about chest height and clap. However, he somehow coordinated he's head and jaw to flow in beat with his clapping. He would bob his head up and down with each clap as well as chuckle with his jaw moving in a very perfect up and down pattern - also in beat with the clapping. My family made fun of him for years because of this. Well sure enough, I caught myself doing the "Markgraf Clap" in public not long ago. I immediately stopped myself! I couldn't believe what I had done. I even looked around to see if the rest of my world around me had noticed...lol. Secretly (and not so secret now) I'm glad I did it and for the first time, did it as my own rather than as a joke. It was something that reminded me of dad.

All of those things have made me think of my dad a lot here lately. I'm glad. Unlike a photo or another memory that can be lost in a move or forgotten over time, these are parts of my dad that are ingrained into me. They're are the parts of him that have physically become parts of me. These are the constant reminders of a man I dearly love and are things that no one, and nothing can take away from me.

It all makes me wonder one thing though...what am I carrying around that my Father in heaven has placed in me that is truly me? Shouldn't the world be seeing those things too?

God Owes Me!!

God owes me…right? Doesn’t God owe me for becoming a Christian? I mean, I did SAY I believe in Him. Heck, I even said it in front of others a time or two. God owes me!

God owes me because I did what he said I should. I got baptized in front of a lot of people just so they’d know I was serious. So, God owes me!

God owes me because I’ve done everything right. I pray sometimes…I read my Bible some. I even give God a whole hour or two one day a week. That’s not my time. I sacrifice that time…right? God owes me!

God owes me because he loves me. And if he loves me, he owes me a better life…right? God owes me!

I mean really, what’s God done? He sent his son to die in my place. He sent his son to die so that I could spend eternity beyond the pettiness of this world in an unimaginable paradise with him. He sent his son to die just so he and I could be friends. He traded his own child’s life so he and I could have a relationship. Wait, he literally offered up his son; HIS WISE, SMART, GREAT, PERFECT, SINLESS, LOVING CHILD, so that a foolish, ignorant, ungrateful, filthy, sinful, unlovable person like me could be claimed as his child instead. That doesn’t even make since. That kind of love for me is unparalleled in this world.

No, God doesn’t owe me. If anything…I OWE GOD my life! Wait...didn't I say I gave it to him? :-o

TORNADO ALERT!!

What a season for tornadoes it's been. Unfortunately, they are literally all over the central and south eastern parts of the US as of late. Over 500 people have been killed within about a month due to these destructive storms. Just the other night, the city in which I live in was forecast a 9 out of 10 chance by the weather forecasters of having severe storms and tornadoes. They were right, as we had both. We were lucky though. The whirlwind storms did some damage but nothing to get all up in a tizzy about. I heard someone lost a roof and there are trees down in places (including my neighborhood) but all in all, we were lucky. Other towns and cities have been absolutely DEVASTATED this year.

This week had started out normal. I had just put up a new playground after work, for my boys, and then a phone call came. In casual conversation someone mentioned the storms headed our way. I had no clue this was coming so I got on the computer and started checking my local forecast and sure enough, we were predicted to get nailed! At first, I totally freaked out. We were supposed to go on vacation just a couple days from then and I called my wife and said, "We're going to leave today for vacation! Get home, we're leaving now!"

Ok, so maybe that wasn't the most sensible reaction. But my instincts were to save my family at all costs from the impending doom headed our way. As it turns out, my wife and kids and I went over to my moms house and we rode the storms out in a closet together. You'd have thought we were going camping or something. My kids had game systems and toys to play with in the closet. We had blankets and pillows to cover up with and to sit on too. And even though it was a little unnerving and incredibly cramped (3 adults and 2 kids in a closet is tight) the conversation we wonderful. It was an unplanned vacation in which the family simply set around and communed together. We played games in the closet with the kids to distract them from the whirlwind storms outside. We talked, we laughed and it was generally a wonderful time with those I dearly love. It made me think about how important these people are to me in my life and how I'd be lost without each of them. I also had a reality check that reminded me that we aren't promised more time than the present with the people we love. That made me ask myself, why do we ever let the whirlwinds of life take us from those we love?

What Mother's Teach Us

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I just didn't feel right honoring our mothers with a blog. So, I took a look at three exceptional mothers from centuries present and past. They are world famous mothers. Not for being moms though, rather, for being exceptional in their Christian walk. So let's get to it.

1) Mother Teresa - Mother Teresa teaches us what it means to follow Romans 12:1 which says, "So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship." I can't remember ever seeing a picture of Mother Teresa in catholic Mass. It's not that she didn't attend, most assuredly she did. But her true worship was in sacrificing her own needs and desires for the sake of others and ultimately, for the sake of Christ. That's a lesson we all can learn from.

2) Mother Mary - As a protestant, we don't give Mary her full due a lot of times. However, if there's one lesson Mary can teach us, it's how to endure struggles and pain. She was pregnant as a young teen and was unwed when it happened. Her future husband, Joseph, had one foot out the door until an angel came to him in a dream and assured him her pregnancy really was from the Lord. I'm sure she was mocked and laughed at plenty. Not to mention, she watched her little baby boy grow up completely innocent of all crimes and sin. Yet, she watched him suffer beatings, false accusations and watched him die a criminals inhumane death, naked, on a cross. Yet, she endured through it all. She is the perfect example of what Paul means when he writes in Romans 5:3-4, "But that's not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope." Our hope in Christ is our confidence in Him. That he is who he says he is and that he did what he claimed to. So praise God for the refining process of struggle that ultimately reminds us of our hope in Christ.

3) Susan Wesley - Susan Wesley was the mother of John Wesley who was the founder of Methodism. She is a shining example of what it means to be Spiritually Disciplined. Every day she taught her children their scholastic studies, Biblical studies, and prayer time. She also spent time every day for herself with God. Oh, did I mention she had 19 children! Now, less than half survived ( I believe somewhere between 6-9)which she still managed time for every week and every day. She prayed, read her Bible and helped in her community. Three disciplines I know I need to do better in my own life. How about You?

WOW, what extraordinary women these women were! I'm so impressed by each and only hope my life is as dedicated to the love of God through loving the people of this world as theirs were.

Run Away

I was thinking about Jonah the other day. We were reading from his book in the Bible and the story struck me from a different point of view. This time, rather than a third party, I became Jonah (a position I unfortunately have played many times in my life.) Well anyway, I could only imagine how a modern day conversation between Jonah and God might have gone. Adding some of my own frustrations along the way, these lyrics below are the result of the thought process. It is now actually a song, but I'm only posting the lyrics for now.

Run Away

You walked in smiling ear to ear
you say that you got good news
so I'm ready to hear

Then you share your news with me
instead of delighted, I despise it
I'm green with jealousy

Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.

The feelings cold as I head for the door
I can't understand why I'm left out to dry
while the cold rain pours.

Oh it makes me wanna run away
It makes me wanna run away
no matter what you say
I don't wanna be here anyway.

I said it makes me wanna run
but that's hard to do
when everything I need happens to be
all wrapped up in you

Why do I run away
why do I run away
no matter what I say
I need to be right here today.


Blessings,
Derek

The parable of the Dirty Laundry

Laundry is a funny thing around my house. I don’t know, maybe it is around your house too. In my house, laundry is a daily activity…or at least should be. We don’t make a daily one, as there are mounds of clothes currently in my hall outside the laundry closet to testify to this. However, whenever my wife and I trudge up the will to fight the battle ahead, it usually happens in heaps. Yep, we usually grab one big, supersized mound of clothes and throw it in the wash. Sometimes they’re even separated into whites, darks, and towels. Depending on how much there is to do will usually determine the time and effort put toward the proper separation of the clothes. That’s probably not too uncommon from house to house in America is we’re honest with ourselves. Then, the process usually continues with the steps of washing the clothes. In our case, we turn the water on, dump in the soap and close the lid. What caught my attention today were all the dials on the washer. Sure, I’ve seen them many times, but common, who really uses all those. Seriously! In our house, regardless of the size of the load that goes in the wash, the dial that adjusts the water according to the size is ALWAYS on “LARGE”. There are two other settings; “SMALL” and “MEDIUM”. Those suckers NEVER get used in my house. On top of that, there’s actually a line in your laundry detergent cap to show you where to fill the cap up to depending on the size load you are washing. Once again, our loads (regardless of size) all get the full cap of laundry detergent. HA, isn’t that a bit silly? Is that the way it works in your house too? (My wife hates me right now for revealing the way we do laundry in our house, I’m sure.) Today, I’m proud to say I took one more step closer to correcting myself. I actually switched the “LARGE” dial to “SMALL”, which was appropriate for the size load today. However, I still filled the cap up and dumped it in before I thought about what I was doing. Guess old habits will die hard.

My laundry experience today made me thing of the parable of the workers in the Bible. You know, the one where all the workers get paid the same amount of wages at the end of the day, regardless of how much time they’d put in. Here, check out the parable below.


Matt 20:1-16
"For the Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who was the master of a household, who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. When he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. He went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace. To them he said, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did likewise. About the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle. He said to them, ‘Why do you stand here all day idle?’ "They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ "He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and you will receive whatever is right.’ When evening had come, the lord of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning from the last to the first.’ "When those who were hired at about the eleventh hour came, they each received a denarius. When the first came, they supposed that they would receive more; and they likewise each received a denarius. When they received it, they murmured against the master of the household, saying, ‘These last have spent one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat!’ "But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Didn’t you agree with me for a denarius? Take that which is yours, and go your way. It is my desire to give to this last just as much as to you. Isn’t it lawful for me to do what I want to with what I own? Or is your eye evil, because I am good?’


Just as my laundry received the same amount of cleanser to be washed, so did the workers receive the same wage. This story is ultimately about our choosing Christ. It doesn’t matter if you come to Christ late in life or early, the reward is the same. The Grace that enables your cleansing is the same. No matter how big the mound of dirt is in your life, or how small, the same love and mercy and forgiveness is offered to all. God’s not in the business of define who is better than another because ALL have sinned and are in need of a savior. The question for me is, am I offering grace in equal amounts like Christ, or am I stingy and choosy with my grace? What about you?

Don't worry, be happy...right?

Why is it so hard to do? You would think there would be many more daunting tasks in life that would take much more of our concentrated efforts to accomplish. Seriously, aren't there bigger distractions in life than little ole "worry". I think I'd have to say, "no!" In all reality, worry weighs on each of us every day. Proverbs even tells us worry weighs on us. I've fallen into worry's trap today and as I write this my mental exhaustion has taken it's toll on me physically. In other words, my stress and anxiety about the day have now brought me to a place where I'm too tired to experience the rest of my day. There's definitely a reason God tells us not to worry. What's more, God tells us we can't add anything to our lives by worrying. The problem for me is, I'm so dang good at it. And, as anyone would, I hate to stop something I'm talented at. ;) All this to say, today my prayer is to let go a little more and rest easy in the arms of my savior. After all, what better place is there for me to be?

Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Soap Molding

Don’t worry folks; this isn’t a blog about moldy soap. However, this is a blog about molding soap. This, again, isn’t to be confused with the process in which soap has been left untouched for months and as a result, in it moist environment begins to mold. No, rather, this is about the process of molding two bars of soap together. You know…soap molding.

Have you ever molded two bars of soap together? I’m sure you have, even if you haven’t noticed. The process goes a little something like this. After a given time span (depending on the size of the bar of soap and the number of times per day it’s used) a bar of soap (we’ll say one that’s in the shower) begins to dwindle. It’s just the nature of the beast. You use the bar to wash, and the more you use, the smaller and thinner the bar gets. After some time the bar reaches a flimsy like plastic state in which it becomes rather cumbersome to use effectively. It’s at this time you realize a new bar is necessary. However, what do you do with the remainder of the bar that’s left? After all, it’s still soap and can still be used to cleanse, right? Many might throw it out into the hand soap tray on the sink. But let’s face it, though you’d still finish off the soap, it might look a little tacky. So I say no, the more proper thing to due is leave it in the shower. Get a new bar and use that new bar for cleaning one time. At the end of it’s first use, take the old flimsy bar and lay it on top of the new bar that’s just been used. Come back a day later and you have begun your soap molding process.

Depending on the thickness of the old bar, you can have a unibar of soap in as little as one day. Sometimes, the molding process takes a little longer. Occasionally the old bar isn’t quite ready for molding and for whatever reason (justified or not) you decide to press your luck with soap molding and see if you can force a proper molding of the soaps. However, this isn’t the best idea. Soaps need to be used to a point before their ready. I’ve tried to force two soaps before the proper time. The result was the two united bars separating again. That can be really frustrating for some reason. No, the best thing to do is to be patient with your soap…make sure it gets to the correct stage in its soap life, and then when ready, bring the two soaps together for proper molding and perfect results. Still, some bars may mold quicker than others, but all will eventually adapt and mold together. It's such a silly little process for saving soap. Wonder what it would look like if we used this method in saving souls?

Only Time Will Tell

A friend of mine (Anthony Schaeffer) and I met today for our discipleship/writers group. Today, we had some extra time and decided to collaborate on two stories. We spent 30 minutes writing two stories, trading computers every five minutes regardless of where we were in the story. Even if in mid-sentence. The story below is the result of the one I started. His blog (Wanderings) has the other posted on it. I guess the question for you, the reader, is, how would you end it?

Only Time Will Tell
She slowly bent down on at the foot of her bed. Placing her arm across the bed board she rested her head on her forearm, face to the ground. It was the bed she had grown up in, but had long since moved beyond. Now, at 34, there wasn’t a real need for a twin sized day bed filled with stuffed bears and pink pillows. However, here she set at the end of that very bed. The head board pushed tightly to the wall, she occupied the space at the foot of the bed. This bed was a catalyst for so many memories. She slowly raised her head, mascara running down her cheeks, like a child, she brushed her forearm just under her nose as she sniffed. It was hard to believe that she was leaving her home for a new life in Los Angles.

Her husband of just over a week has a job in sales for Paramount Studios he starts next Monday, that leaves just a day short of a week for Miranda to pack up her life and fly out to L.A. to join him. As she is looking at the mementos of her childhood she is transported back to her first ballet recital. She recalled how the butter flies in her seven year old stomach made her want to run. She wasn’t scared of successfully pulling off her dance routine, she knew she was good…even at seven. She had stage fright worse than anyone though. She remembers how Steven, the only boy in the class, ran up to her and gave her a hug. He said, “Miranda, you can do this. Just pretend you’re at the studio and the only people watching are your parents and me.” She raised her head up from her forearm, wiped the snot on her sleeve and said, “Thanks Steven!” She went out and was, as expected, the best performer of the day.

Snapping back in to reality, she grabbed Floppy off the bed. Floppy was a stuffed dog with a long tail and two floppy ears. One ear shorter than the other. Miranda couldn’t believe what she’d discovered about her husband. Floppy was the first gift she’d ever received from him. She held Floppy tight and buried her face in Floppy’s head as the rains came flowing from her eyes. Miranda’s husband didn’t know she knew…but she did.

She was scarred at the thought of being so far away from the small frame, Kentucky house that she had grown up in. But she was married to the man that she loved, and hopefully with enough patience she could make him love her. Mom told her that she would have to be the tower of strength in this relationship, the glue that would bond them together. She would have to be the loving supportive house wife that would make him forget those texts he got while on their honeymoon. How could he, just days before stand before God and pledge to love her and receive these messages from his ex.

They had been down this road before and he had assured her that it was over. Those naked pictures on his iPhone sure told a different story. That did not look like the type of message you send someone who told you it was over. Had Miranda been taken for a fool? Only time would tell.

The Oddity of the Ipod

Have you ever thought about how weird it is to walk around with your own personal theme music for a day? In a sense, that’s what we do when we pop those classic white ear buds into our ear with the flimsy, matching wire running down to the Ipod power module which seamlessly transports us into our own musical Universe. It’s not our musical universe because we choose what’s being played, rather it’s ours because each song chosen has meaning and feeling that is related specifically to us. Its meaning may be known to all, it may not, but it is always known to one…you. It’s that connection that makes the Ipod (or any pocket music device) so odd. Not odd as in “unique”, but odd as in peculiar. This strange little device has the power to make an individual walk around with a flood of emotions in which the individual unconsciously assumes everyone around them understands. Because you hear the music of your universe, yet you exist in the conscious reality of the living, you are a paradox. Yes, you have something special going on and you can feel it! If someone shoots you a weird look, you shoot one back as if they’re crazy for not hearing the music that announced your grand entrance. The feeling is undeniably incredible to walk around blasting your own personal theme music for the moment, while you unconsciously assume everyone else here’s it and knows it's YOU coming! It’s almost like walking in a movie and you’re the star that gets music played in every scene that you’re in. It’s really weird, isn’t it? I mean, if we walked around thinking people could hear the voices in our heads…wouldn’t we all be crazy?


Strangely enough, Christians ARE crazy…right? Don’t we go around as if everyone can hear and understand the music we walk in the room to? Don’t we act as though everyone gets it and if they don’t they are an idiot for not understanding and so there for, they get condemned? We all have different tastes when it comes to music. And simply because your music is great to you and fits your personal walk doesn’t mean its music that everyone likes. However, we all love music. That’s the Christian approach to telling others about Christ. Our personal theme song is our approach and delivery. However, the music is Christianity. So what’s your theme music sound like? Is it too much for others to understand?

Blessings in Christ,
Derek

Putting on the Armor...again.

Have you ever thought about what it means to put on the full armor of God? We all have read the passages in Ephesians that refer to this armor. In case you need a refresher, let’s take another look.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. – Ephesians 6:10-18

Have you ever noticed how much of God’s “armor” is the Bible? The belt of truth in verse 14, that truth is the Bible. Our feet of readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace…that Gospel is the one and only in the Bible. Our Helmet of salvation and our Sword of the Spirit, both are the word of God which is, of course, the Bible.

So much of the “armor” God wants us to put on is about being prepared with knowledge and wisdom of God’s Holy word. Some of my friends and I have had a recent revelation about just how important this armor is. We all deal with sin and the struggle to keep Satan out of our lives. Whether it be depression, confusion, fear, addictions, time management, or a whole list of other possibilities, one thing that stands true is the battle is real. Paul is aware of this in his message to the Ephesians. That’s why this protection we seek from the Lord is referred to as “armor”. Here’s the catch though; just because we put the armor of God on one day doesn’t mean it stays on every day. In other words, we have to find ourselves in God’s word daily in order to remain protected from whatever foothold Satan can get on us. The moment we stop the routine of daily living in the word is the moment we have handed our armor back to God and said, “I don’t need this anymore, I can do it on my own.” Guess what friends, you can’t…and neither can I! No one can. It is not by our own accord or own strength that we ever defeat Satan, it is through the power of the Holy Spirit. So remember, your daily time in the word is extremely valuable and important whether you feel it daily or not. Every bit you read will better prepare you for when Satan attacks. My experience is, when I’m solidly in the word, I don’t even see the attacks around me because the Spirit goes before and fights my battles for me. So, put on the full armor of God today. And then tomorrow, when you get up, be sure you put it back on again!

Blessings,
Derek

Roman715

Well, this isn't your regular poem from me. But, nonetheless, I'd love to hear your thoughts, interpretations and so on...

Roman715
She’s more than an addiction, I have to have her to live
But there’s a chance for my redemption just beyond the fib
And the truth I hold so loosely is lost within the light
Of the ramblings deep within me and of which I hold so tight

I can’t wait for the next fix the second she hits my veins
Waiting on her next hit to take away the pain
she brings me to my knees, knockin on deaths door
But I’m lost in the disease as I attempt to use my lore.

The help I need is there, waiting for me to agree
But the disguised hope’s what she offers and it’s calling out to me
Lies, lies, lies fill up my heart and head
As I climb down from the highs, I know I’ve been left for dead

Her love is the drug, it overwhelms my soul
But the darkness in that love keeps me from being whole
It provides the calm I seek and offers me release
And I’m not willing to leave the safety of deceit

It’s really not her fault, I’m the one to blame
And I’m awfully convincing so no one can see my shame
She just keeps on chasing and I can’t let her go
Freedom, oh freedom, I guess I’ll never know
Freedom, oh freedom, Lord come and save my soul

The Old Black Train - Song

So, I put the poem to music. Hope you enjoy. Please share your thoughts if you like.

The Old Black Train

The old black trains, runnin it’s tracks
When the whistle blows, aint no turnin back
I can ride those rails or choose to stay
I’ll ride those rails any day

Carry me home, train don’t stop
Go on, go on, I’ve made my plot
The whistles blowing, I’m heaven bound
Where I’m goin, is where I’m found

I’ve seen the train, it runs river side
For all those goin it’s a bumpy ride
The rivers cold if the people get wet
But the ebb and flow washes all regret

Starts with judgment and ends the same
Regardless your stop, you’re to blame
The tunnels dark will make you blind
But freedom lies on the other side

Carry me home, train don’t stop
Go on, go on, I’ve made my plot
The whistles blowing, I’m heaven bound
Where I’m goin, is where I’m found

Derek Markgraf
12-20-2010

What's Right?

Today I heard an interesting story. Apparently there is an unwed woman that has attended a church around, though infrequently. She's pregnant and showed up at church this past Sunday. She didn't attend either service, but came in between services with invitations. She was throwing herself a baby shower. There is an attitude of some members that this is wrong. Not only is she not attending services, she's asking people to come to her baby shower while on the property. It's clear she wants people to bring her things for her baby. She's "using" the church. I have to wonder though, should people even be able to "use" the church? That sounds like I'm against her coming and doing this, but it is really quite the opposite. What I mean is, if we're ministering in light of the way Jesus ministered...should people even have a chance to make it their agenda to "use" the church to help their needs. In other words, this woman is clearly seeking help from a place she has at least made prior connections to. I wonder, what if the church would have thought to provide her with a shower first. Wouldn't that have been right? Some will say, "no, not if she's not giving back to the church." But that makes me wonder, what is the church's role? Aren't we as a body instructed to care for the poor and any in need?(1 John 3:17-19) Didn't Jesus himself say he was the least of these presented before us? (Matt. 25:33-40)When did Jesus first require a commitment to the church before healing anyone. Isn't that what this woman is seeking?

Sure, there are always people who are out to beat the system. There are people waiting to make the church a "sucker" who they plan to play and get all they can and then move one. Oddly enough though, I don't think the church can be a "sucker". If we are to love all the way Christ loved us, that involves offering the same grace to others that Christ offers to us. I'd like to say all churches would do this, but I'd be foolish to believe that. I know there have been situations where I certainly have been on the other side of this argument. We are imperfect and I am certainly no exception. With that, I'll leave us with something from the gospel of Luke.


Luke 6:30-36

30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.